Bad Blogger! Bad! Part 2

So, yesterday I left you at a cliff hanger. Am I really narcissitic enough to think that you out there are clinging on my every word, waiting desperately for another post from your favorite blogger like it’s crack (or swiss cake rolls, in my experience)? Anyone? Anyone?

Beuller?

Beuller?

No? Ok, maybe that’s just me.

Ahem, anyways. I said yesterday that something amazing, scary, life changing, (yada yada yada) happened. And I wasn’t being super overly dramatic, at least not this time. If you haven’t already guessed… here you go.

One month smiles

See that cute face right there?

We had a baby! Cue the fan fare!

Her name is Jordin, and she’s a firecracker! Her big brother loves her to the moon and back. And we’re super lucky. Super, super, lucky.

Whew.

So, now things are getting back on track, we’re feeling less stressed on the day to day. What isn’t getting back on track is my weight. Ohhhh, the weight.

I am a stress eater who was pregnant. So can you guess what happened? Yeah, I gained a crapton of weight.

Seriously.

Crapton.

Definition: Craptop. (crap-ton) Noun: Equal to four shitloads

When we found out I was pregnant I weighed 198. Considering I last left you at 194, gaining only 4 pounds in 6 months through all the stress we were under was remarkable for me.

What wasn’t remarkable how much I gained and how quickly. By the time I had Jordin I was 248. Yeah, I gained 50 pounds exactly. Before anyone starts screaming about how much a pregnant woman should gain…I know. My doctors advised me on it. And yes, I was 15 pounds over what a average weight pregnant lady should gain, let alone someone who is already overweight, But I got big!

Last day pregnant

See? And from the front, I looked even bigger. Yay!

But don’t be too alarmed, I’ve lost a little bit (with a catch). It hasn’t been my priority, but I did.

So for my new, official (practically starting over) weigh in.

In true Plumpville tradition…

Last Weigh-In (April 2014): 194.3
This Weigh-In: 232.3
Total gained: 38 lbs

And… quadruple ouch.

Now, going into the OR at 248 and now, nearly three months later sitting at 16 pounds lighter would be an awesome claim. But, alas, I’m not even going to pretend that I’ve lost 16 pounds. I’ve definitely lost something but let’s not get too excited.

Figure at least 8 of those pounds were all baby, and at LEAST 5 of that was all the stuff that comes along with giving birth, I won’t give details…all you moms and dads out there who know what exactly is entailed will know. Those of you who don’t, throw up a quick Google search, ask your parents, or think back to middle school health class.

So that really only leaves about 5 pounds. 3 pounds lost in 2 months. Can’t complain!

Wait.

Yes, I can.

Now lets consider retaining water, and boobs the size of Texas.

Yeah. So of all the fat I’ve lost (because let’s face it, the goal here is to lose fat… not non-fat weight)… nada. Zip. Zilch. Zero.

There is a reason why doctors advise only gaining a certain amount of weight… those are all health reasons. Safety for yourself and the baby being numbers one and two (not necessarily in that order).

For me, I’m glad I had a perfectly healthy, beautiful baby girl… but I realize now vanity is defintiely one of those.

I gained WEIGHT not baby and belly. My lovehandles expanded to respemble something akin to floating noodles, and my old favorite pair of pink skinny jeans barely button (and the seams…those poor, poor seams).

Let’t not even get started on my knees, back, and ankles. Quintuple ouch. Although that ouch is actual physical pain. Yeah. Not fun.

So here I am. Back, back, back on the wagon. I was cleared for exercise six weeks after my c-section, then some minor complications with BC (I’ll get on that at a later time) made the thoughts of situps or anything that would remotely force me to stretch and flex my lower stomach basically nauseating.

But I’m feeling better, physically ready and mentally sooooo ready. Whereas a few weeks ago, I wasn’t. Especially not physically.

So, this time around, I’m starting heavier than I was the first time I started this blog. I’m only 34 pounds down from my heaviest weight, and 50 pounds up from my lightest.

I’ve got a long way to go, and in the last couple days I’ve realized how difficult this is going to be again. But I’m determined.

So here goes nothing.

name

Back on track.

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