Still fat, everyone!

Well, hello there.

This is a nice little public service announcement.

I’m back after, ohhhh, a year and a half.

Need proof? Here’s my last post. See? I told ya!

But even with being “away” for that long, some things just haven’t changed.

I’m still hopelessly obsessed with Harry Potter.
I’m still at a ridiculous level of stress.
I’m still working.working.working (all.the.time)

And yes. I’m still fat.

There have been some changes though, it’s not like I went a year and a half without any change at all. Insert winky face here.

See, look-

1. I’ve mastered my poker face because my TWO year old has hit terrible twos like a hurricane, and she’s mastered “the punctuating clap” which goes a little something like

“MOMMY” *clap* “MOMMY” *clap* “MINE” *clap* “MINE” *clap* “NOW” *clap* “PLEAAAASSSSEEEEE!!!!”

And for as obnoxious/shrill/frequent it is, it’s still cute as hell and I frequently have to hide my smile behind “Jordin, it’s 3 am and not time for cookies.”

2. My NINE year old has discovered Axe body spray, dabbing, fidget spinners, and the phrase “brah” (thank you public schools). Though, he doesn’t find the irony in me calling him “brah” as much as I do.

And they’re still crazy smart, adventurous, creating, freaking adorable, and the best kids in the entire world (I’m allowed to be biased).

3. I have taken out all of my piercings, except the dermals because I’m simply too lazy to track down a doctor to do it, who accepts my insurance…in my area.

4. I, the queen of stretchy pants, actually tried on leggings for the first time and I am pretty disgruntled at myself for not doing it sooner. WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME HOW COMFORTABLE THEY ARE?

5. I do Yoga! Ok, let’s be fair on this one. I am physically capable of doing a grand total of 3 poses without dying. Technically four if you count corpse pose. But I probably shouldn’t count that because it always ends up as an impromptu nap, though I’ve gotten smart and only do it in bed. At bed time. So, yeah, we’ll stick to three.

6. And I’ve been actively trying (ish) and losing weight.

But, alas, I’m still fat.

Am I mad about it? Nope.
Discouraged? Sometimes.
Hopeful? Most definitely.
Sore af? Always

So, here’s a little welcome back bravado for me!

I’m back! I’m back! I’m back! I’m back!

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