These last three crazy months have been a lot of focusing on trying to break some bad habits.
I have a lot of bad habits that I have gotten over the last 10+ years, and a lot of them were reinforced repeatedly. And I’m really trying to get them under control.
You know, the typical drinking more water, watching what I’m eating, getting moving, you know all those things are habits that anyone who wants to lose weight wants to have as good habits.
But my worse habit is the way I talk about the things I’m doing. Not specifics, but more phrases. “I was really good!” or “I was bad, I ate more than what I’m supposed to.” Things like that. I don’t know why I’ve always done that. Talked about my weight/eating in terms of bad or good. Or saying things like “supposed to.” That’s my biggest struggle. I’m sure if you go through old posts, you’ll see stuff like that all over the place. Phrases like that aren’t helpful or good for me. It puts me in a block of what is “acceptable” or not.
Which, ironically, I don’t generally do that stuff consciously. It’s stuff that slips out, that I don’t think about. It’s become a horrible habit of mine to just say things like that. I’m big on the whole “low pressure weight loss” thing. If I want an ice cream sundae, sure, why not? It’s not bad or not naughty or wrong. That one decision isn’t something that is going to ruin all of my progress.
Same with the opposite. The days I have that are great days, water/eating/moving… I always tend to say that I did “good.” I don’t know why I feel the need to grade or gauge myself like that. Did I do something good for me? Absolutely! But putting it in a category like that, automatically makes me feel like anything short of that falls into a “bad” category.
That probably sounds like a real trivial thing to worry about. But sometimes, verbiage is the biggest thing that can make it harder for a person to accomplish the things they want to. It’s so much pressure to sit here and worry that if I eat the damn ice cream sundae if I’m being “bad” or making a “bad” choice.
I think “making better choice” is a good way to phrase things. I’m not always going to make GREAT choices. I’ll have days where I make choice that probably could have been better. But really, I’m not looking to make 100% great choices. I’m looking to make choices that will make me move towards my goal without taking away everything in my life that I enjoy (yes, including sundaes.)
The biggest thing is that I don’t want to feel guilty for having a “bad” food. I don’t want to feel guilty because I had a “good” day where I drank my water, hit 20k steps, and ate perfectly…. and then compare all other days to that “good” day.
It’s a lot of pressure that I don’t want or need. And I’ve fallen into that a lot. It’s nothing that I’m going to just “poof” stop saying or thinking… but it’s definitely things that shouldn’t cross my mind as much.
So, I’m actively trying to change the way I talk about my weight or losing weight. But I’m allowed to have days that could be better. I’m allowed to have awesome days without feeling like I’m setting this impossible line to reach.
It took a lot to realize that. And part of that was during that 3 months. That was the biggest thing I had to “get over” was when I was losing weight, it was a lot of “woah, I must be really doing good!” For example: when I’d hit 20,000 steps. I’d felt awesome, I’d said it was a really good day! And it was! But the very next day I barely hit 8,000 and I was so beat up about it. Like, crap, 8,000 steps for someone like me is still really good but I couldn’t connect that… because it wasn’t “20,000 steps good.”
I know, I know, we’re our own competition. But it’s only good for you if it’s something you can maintain, and doesn’t make you feel like crap later. Strive for doing better, not doing perfect!!!