Reflecting on 2018

Here we are! New Years Eve! The last official day of 2018! We’re taking a break from all the weight loss talk in favor of reflecting on 2018! So, this time last year, I made myself a New Years Resoltion…now I’m not a huge fan of New Years Resolutions. For some reason I did them last year. My logic was that if it wasn’t something like “you have to lose weight” or “I will quit biting my nails” that I might actually do those things. So, I went for more of a general one. My New Years Resolutions last year boiled down to essentially “Be nicer to myself.” I initially wanted to just scoff and be a negative Nancy about that. Because in the larger scale of things, maybe I wasn’t all too nice to myself. I didn’t do much in the way of taking care of my health (sorry Doc for the several cancelled appointments), I went overboard on the whole “over working” aspect and boy was I stressed out. But at the end of every year, we really should take that chance to reflect on the last year. Right?

But there were some things that I did actually do.

Take mental health days
I actually took time off from work! Rather than raking in just under 200 hours of unused paid time off (my job in INSANELY generous when it comes to personal time off!!!), I actually used some of those hours! Which is HUGE for me. Granted, one of those times was a “Nicole, I think you need some time off before you explode moments” but I did take a couple days off here and there. I even scheduled a MASSIVE 6 days away for myself (sure, it only ended up as 4… but #progressnotperfection).

That might not seem like much, but consider in 2017 I only actually used a fraction of that, is remarkable to me.

Have more me time
This was the one I really struggled with, because with everything that I have going on, it’s really hard to find time to do things strictly for me, especially when all my time is wrapped up with taking care of everyone else. For a while there (I admittedly dropped the ball on this a few months ago) I was doing my nails pretty regularly! I even tried out almond shaped nails…which eventually turned into stiletto…big moment of stepping outside of my comfort zone . And even more recently, I start sporting my natural hair and wearing make up more often than “I have to do an interview today”! It was nice to have moments (even if it was only 45 minutes once a week) to spend painting my nails or watching a TV show or some other “menial task” that I always managed to ignore.

And last but not least Slow down and smell the daisies (not a big rose fan)
But, the biggest things that I’d started was back in October, definitely not an entire year. But I started journaling. That’s been a big one for me. Getting my thoughts out onto paper, reflecting on all the good things happening around me, I needed that. It wasn’t a daily kind of thing, but it was nice little outlet. I tried to keep it as positive as possible! I was doodling, reflecting on “little happies” and even started keeping track of the “good” things that were happening… which needing to keep track of sounds horrible, but seriously, taking a second to see the good things among all the stress and frustration was amazing!

While it wasn’t like 2018 was an astounding year, and my “resolution” fell short in the “MY YEAR WAS AMAZING” department, it definitely cleared things up in my head. There were absolutely things that I didn’t accomplish that I wanted to, there were moments where I just wanted to give up and become a hermit, and more often than not I was stressed and frustrated… but there were shining moments that I was nice to myself. The balance I was hoping for certainly wasn’t there, but it was a good starting point.

And that’s what I’m looking for in 2019. That balance. Being nice to myself is more than just moments here and there. And finding that balance of doing what needs to be done and being nice to myself is key!

So here’s thanks to 2018 for not sucking as bad as 2017.

Happy New Years Eve everyone!

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