Getting started is the hardest part

It’s been a full week since I’ve been writing. Tomorrow marks my first official weigh in being “back on the wagon.” I’d like to think it’s understandable that I’m nervous. What to expect, because I know that getting started is the hardest part of any challenge!

I’m certainly not expecting some incredibly decrease in weight. I know my body, and I know how it works. It usually takes a few weeks for me to actually see some weight loss. And even when I finally do see the numbers go down, they’re HUGE ridiculous numbers. Like 5 pounds in a week.

I’ve been doing this stop again/start again thing for quite some time, and I already know that those big number drops are more than likely nothing more than water weight. I had actually considered not weighing in for the first few weeks, just because I know this.

I don’t want to get all excited for some significant loss of however many pounds. I’m looking to lose fat, not just numbers. But, of course, I’m going to. I already know I’m going to hop on that scale and see how I’m doing. Curiosity? Sure.

But, considering being sick, I’ve been trying to bust by butt. I’ve been drinking more water, attempting to exercise as much as I can handle, and I’ve been logging my calorie intake as well.

So I’m optimisitic that this is a good start. Jumping in with both feet is the way to go.

But wow, I’ve went so long with not caring what I’m eating, that watching what I’m eating is almost as hard as attempting to be active. Eating whatever I want, whenever I want, is a really hard habit to break. Even harder than not biting my nails! I want to go back to when I stopped and demand I keep going.

Hindsight is 20/20. Right?

But at least this time I’ll remember what it felt like to lose a considerable amount of weight. I suppose it’ll be like a reminder that I did it once, and I can do it again. Plus, when I get back to those numbers it’ll be motivation not to stop. I know how it feels to gain back a good portion of what I worked so hard to lose, and I don’t ever want to be in this position again.

I can fully understand why so many people gain back the weight they’ve lost! Sure, a good 40 pounds of that was while I was pregnant. Insatiable cravings for anything covered in BBQ sauce and caramel corn will do a small part of that. The larger part was when my “only in moderation” switch was set firmly in the “off” position. That part was all me. Can’t blame pregnancy for that little tidbit.

Stupid little switch.

I always used to talk about “this is a lifestyle change” which is it. I still agree 100% with that statement. But when I was writing that I had thought I’d gotten to that point where my lifestyle changes were something I was going to be able to continue for the rest of my life.

When I “stopped” the first time around, I can easily attribute it to boredom. I got bored making the same things over and over again. I got bored working out the same way. I got too complacent.

Yeah, I don’t do well with change. But I also don’t do too well with complacency. I’m a complicated person (read: My life makes absolutely no sense). And combating that, is something I’ve got to figure out.

I don’t want to lose weight just to look back and get all angry at myself because “I lost 100 pounds and then screwed up.” I’ve only gained back 40, I couldn’t imagine gaining back 100 pounds that I worked my tailfeathers off for.

So, I need to be determined. And resiliant. And constantly thinking of new ways to stay interested in being healthy. And not just throwing my hands up in the air when things get too boring.

Variety is the spice of life. Right?

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Counting Calories is Bad?

I was floating around twitter bright and early yesterday morning and found a tweet from SHAPE Magazine (@Shape_Magazine) it kind of made me halt a little bit.

Shape Magazine

Of course my first instinct was to go and read the article. Rather than listing it all out you can go ahead and read it here. It was basically stating that counting calories can be the wrong choice. Several doctors listed what they thought about the issue.

Then of course, I felt the need to google it. Of course I did, Google is my life source when it comes to the internet. But I came across this website Diet Doctor. He had posted something short, simple, and sweet…and it definitely sparked some of the eyebrow raising responses I’m sure he was shooting for.

Calorie Counting Disorder
“Calorie Counting is an eating disorder”

Woah. I mean, WOAH. So now counting calories is bad? That’s an insanely generalized statement. He did post a follow up post titled Why Calorie Counting is an Eating Disorder which he further explained what he meant by his original post.

I found several other websites that basically said the same thing. “Counting Calories is wrong, focus more on quality than quantity” or “Counting calories is a horrible idea, it never works!” There are tons and tons of websites and blogs that will state that.

I will fully admit that when I first started counting calories I was extremely strict. I would choose less tasty/less healthy options over 20-50 calories. I would count everything in my mouth. I would definitely feel horribly guilty about myself if I went over my 1400 calorie allowance. I went crazy with my need to focus 100% on the numbers. I’m not going to pretend that I didn’t do all of that.

But in my personal experience, it wasn’t the counting of calories that caused me to do that. It was just myself having a flawed sense of what was appropriate. I did the same thing while doing weight watchers, and Alli, and low-carb, etc etc etc.

I eventually learned that what I was doing was getting a little out of hand. I evolved my calorie counting into something more than strictly focusing on the numbers. Yes, I still count calories. Yes, I do watch what I eat. No, I don’t have an eating disorder.

donut and me use

Do I have issues with food? Definitely, some aspects of my eating habits may still be defined as “disordered.” Do I still eat chips and donuts? Ummm, yeah. So I still love Almond Joys and Reese’s Eggs…so what. Those choices have nothing to do with calorie counting. It has to do with self control and “hell yes, I want chocolate!”

I don’t focus 100% on the calories unless I’m figuring out a recipe. I have learned what serving sizes are (the whole a fist is a serving size of, or a palm is…) and when I’m not sure I definitely whip out my trusty measuring cup. I have learned when I am full or hungry not based off of calories but based off what my body is telling me.

But I still hold on to counting calories because, while I know my body, I also know myself. I know I get carried away.

I figure on anywhere from 1400-1800 calories. 1400 was a number my doctor gave me, realistically I know that some days I will go higher. I don’t try and force myself to stay within 1400-1450. I understand that I am only human and some days I just want to eat a chocolate bar or have a glass of wine (or two). I have no problem swaying what I’m eating depending on the healthier option or what I really truly want.

I’m sure there are not so great reasons to choose counting calories as your means to weight loss, but it’s no different than there being certain situations where choosing to lose weight isn’t the best idea.

I do agree that we, as a general population regardless of your technique of losing weight, should focus on a healthy way to lose weight. We should focus on all the things that our body needs. Nutrients, the food pyramid, exercise, sleep, bathing, etc.

Counting Calories on it’s own isn’t an eating disorder just as LCHF diets, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Paleo diets, etc aren’t eating disorders. What you do with your chosen “diet” can become a eating disorder, sure. But choosing a specific “diet” plan does not make you someone with an eating disorder.

I, Nicole, count calories. I do watch nutrients, and intake/outake. I watch what I eat. I try to have a balanced eating plan. I try to make my body as healthy as possible.

I do count calories, but I do not have an eating disorder.

Back on the wagon (again)

It’s been nearly a year since I ended my Diary of a Chunky Chica blog. It wasn’t the easiest decision, but for unseen reasons (haha, I’m cheap and I was farrr too lazy to pay for it when I was supposed to, oops). But in my defense of laziness and broke-ness I didn’t realize that buying back domains was so expensive. $700. Yeah, I wasn’t that attached to the domain I had. So in came Nicole Leaving Plumpville. Woot!

Farewell Diary of a Chunky Chica

In the last year I wasn’t all that good. I realized how much keeping myself accountable through blabbing my weight all through the webbie world actually helped me. Granted I had only lost 25 pounds, but it was 25 pounds that I had had such a hard time losing without the support and cheering I had gotten though using DoaCC as that medium for frustration, venting, and support.

So, I’ve gained some weight back.  The stress of being “the new girl” at work and leaving behind all the people I had gotten to know, plus a new position, plus a million other factors (happiness, sadness, stress, and your typical busy lifestyle) definitely helped me gain some of the weight back, but ultimately it was one too many Diary Queen trips and “Big Macs are only a dollar after midnight” crap (DAMN YOU McDONALDS!).

As melodramatic as I am being right now, I haven’t gained all that much back. But just for the sake of being a drama queen and my absolute love of cliffhangers, I’m not telling you my official weight until my weigh-in day (Wednesdays).

But let me tell you something… it is sooo much harder losing weight once you’ve essentially quit. I constantly remember that commercial with the old guy that say “A body in motion tends to stay in motion, and a body at rest tends to stay at rest.” It is so true. Don’t get me wrong, I would “start back up” every once in a while. But all-in-all I would quit.

I got so used to working hard, watching what I was eating, and being conscientious of what I was doing with my body. But making the inadvertent decision to stop what a horrible idea. Now I’ve been fighting with myself over a year to get started all over again. And sure, there were weeks that I would lose some poundage but of course I would eventually gain it back. It was this insane up and down rollercoaster of weight loss/gain.

Bachelorette
Any excuse for a picture of Landon.

I had the kind of mindset of “Oh it’s not that much, I can lose it” the same issue that has plagued so many people who have lost a ton of weight. Granted, I wasn’t done losing weight. I had lost a good 85 pounds, which was awesome. But gaining some of it back wasn’t all that “awesome.” But it happened so slowly that half the time I was giving myself half assed excuses.

It’d be a pound or two in October, and then another pound in November, three pounds in December kind of thing. And the whole time I was bouncing up and down. It was nuts.

So by the time I realized that things were out of hand was about six months into it where I just kind of threw my hands up. I stopped weighing myself, I didn’t worry that clothes were too tight “oh, I’m probably bloated.”

So I’ve been kind of “well damn” about it. Still not all that motivated about it (A gym membership I bought back in October and have still yet to use speaks volumes)

But not too long ago I tried on little black dress I wore back in September 2012 and when it couldn’t fit anymore was about the time I realized things were seriously getting out of hand.

And yes, there was a seam that tore

So I reminded myself the reasons I wanted to lose weight, got this new blog all ready to go, and put it in my mind that I am definitely going to be trying harder to get this crap going again.

So here’s to getting back on the wagon (this time for REALS) and getting this done!

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Motivation!!!

Every single person needs some kind of motivational tool…hell, I have NUMEROUS…..

Everytime I feel myself getting to a point where I feel like I am slowly down I do something new.

1) Magnets on the fridge with funny inspiration quotes….


2) Mini magnets on the fridge with weights on them…every time I lose weight I take one down, when I gain I put one back

 

and my favorite one….

 

A goals poster… drew one and wrote all my goals on it…about 40… when I reach a goals I’m gonna mark it off and put 10 dollars in an old pickle jar….. by the time I finish the goals I’ll have 400 dollars to spend!!! I’ve got all kinds of goals – reach my goal weight, run 5k, walk 150 miles…that kind of thing…

 

Everything is made by me….so it’s more personal… kind of like “hey… look at me!!!” you know?

Anything… keep an outfit from when you start your journey so when you are done you can put them on and see how much you’ve lost, make a mural of how you’d like to look. Every time you feel like you are slowing down do something to mix it up. I like to make my own stuff only because I’m an arts and crafts kind of person….it gets me twice as excited to keep going because I now have an excuse to make something.

Just really anything you can think of to get you going will help.

Some people take pictures of themselves in their underwear and stick it in the fridge
Some people will wear weights that equal how much they have lost and walk or run a mile in it
Others write themselves letters

It all depends on what you think will help you…. motivation is a great tool to help keep you on track……

Give it a try!

~Nicole

Mind Over Body????

So… I’ve come to the realization that I feel a hell of a lot bigger than I actually am….

Example:

This picture is from mybodygallery.com….a great resource for an estimation on what you look like (or could look like)… you give your height, weight (or clothing size), and your body shape (don’t know yours? Check out my “cheat sheet pics”)…. and you can see *rough* estimates….

But, anywho… this is what I feel I look like

but…. according to my measurements I actually look closer to this

Now… to be honest for a second I was all like “what is my picture doing on this website? Wait, I’ve never seen that couch before”.. same skin tone…and what I thought my body looked like.

But the second picture (A girl named Laura… check out her weight loss story AMAZING….. lauramustloseweight.com)

All three of us are the same height…. the first woman is about 60 pounds heavier than the second.

The ironic thing is that the second picture (Laura) has the SAME EXACT measurements as myself…

Kind of scary how much your mind can play tricks on you. Quite literally, a mind of matter… or a mind over body… kind of trick.

So…with this… I am going to leave you all with a warning…

Make sure someone (a doctor, honest friend or family member) is there to help you. By all means, lose the weight yourself…. just make sure at least someone is there who can kind of keep your mind in check…..A lot of people who lose weight will continue to lose weight even after they have hit a healthy weight…. only because they see someone bigger in the mirror. A lot of eating disorders start this way.

I’m paranoid, personally. I don’t want to be skin and bones…. I want to be healthy…. so I know I have a select group of people who will make sure I remain grounded in terms of how my body looks.

My boyfriend does this for me.

Good Luck!!!!

~Nicole