I exercised!

I exercised.

I have actually exercised every other day for the last two weeks.

And let me tell you something.

I’m sore. My legs hurt. My stomach hurts. My butt hurts. I’m just a bundle of hurt.

I’m notorious for not exercising. I have a whole slew of reasons excuses why I don’t exercise.

I’ll do it wrong. I’ll look ridiculous. It’ll hurt. I’ll hate it. I’ll get all sweaty.

And you know what? I was right. 100% right.

I’m pretty certain I did things wrong. I used the modifiers more than the actual moves. I forgot to breathe constantly. Judging by the shadows on the wall (and the horrified look on my 2 year old’s face) I did look absolutely ridiculous. I stopped so many times. What was supposed to be a 5-10 second rest between reps was actually a good 45 seconds of me trying to convince myself to do the next one.

It was quite quite literally a train wreck.

But I did it. I feel like I need a shirt that says “But did you die?”

I haven’t been consistent with exercise in YEARS. Sure, when I first started up again I would sporadically force myself to do some movement. A couple squats here, a few lunges there… 3 second planks. I know I’m not alone here.
Then I’d lose all motivation and stop doing it, stop talking about it…but I’d continue to pin the hell out of “beginners low impact cardio/core exercises.”

Doing this was the exact opposite of bingeing.

If you’re unfamiliar with that cycle… here it is.

Rationalize with yourself why it’s ok to go a little crazy. Go a little crazy (ahem…a lot crazy). Feel awesome while doing it. 20 minutes later have some very negative words for yourself.

Rinse repeat.

In this case it was

Convince yourself to do it. Procastronate while looking for the “perfect workout to do.” Force yourself to do it. Feel horrible while doing it. Curse everything and anything that is related to movement and muscles. 20 minutes later feel absolutely awesome…almost like a superhero.

Rinse repeat.

All in all, folks.

I still hate it. Regardless of how “superhero-y” it makes me feel. I still freaking hate it. I remember back in the past I used to do Pound, and C25k, and I had blast straps…and I would even do some sparring with Josh.

Those things I really enjoyed (except C25k… not a fan of running). Strange to say, but I did like them. I know at this point I just have to find things that I legitimately enjoy. Things I would look forward to doing on a regular basis, rather than finding reasons not to do it.

In all reality, I am not looking right now. I’m just trying to get my butt moving on the rare occasion I can break free with a solid half hour to get things done.

I can’t count dancing in the car or doing dishes as exercise forever. That’s kind of the cheater’s way out, right? Right? (This is the moment where I tell myself that any motion is good motion. And I get a clean house on top of it)

Overall, one day I might exercise and enjoy it. Today is not that day. Today is the day where I hit two solid weeks of regular exercising.

And I’ll take it.

Too expensive to start losing?

“Why is it so expensive to start losing weight?”
Ya’ll, I get it.

You get in that motivation to lose weight and all of a sudden it looks a little bit like this

New workout clothes – BOUGHT IT
Gym Membership – SOLD
Ultra precise down to the ¼ gram stainless steel guilded with gold food scale – MUST HAVE IT
Bathroom scale that also measures body fat percentage – GOT TO HAVE IT
Water bottle system with scheduled alarms for intake – MINE
Pills and capsules to lose an extra .2 pounds a week! – CHA CHING

And so on and so forth.

Then tack on spending a good $200 a month more on buying purely organic low calories fruits/veggies/packaged dinners and snacks.

We’ve all been there. We’ve all done that.

Because making the decision to lose some weight is always exciting! But we start figuring out all the things we think we need right now, and suddenly spending $500 a bucks to lose some weight isn’t realistic, or even feasible! It somehow always got to that point where I would get so discouraged because it’s expensive to even start losing weight.

That little dollar sign is (at least for me) one of the biggest deterrents to losing weight there is.

And many weight loss companies bank on that! (see what I did there?)

Rather, why not get yourself your priority things to start losing weight. And go cheap. At this point it doesn’t matter. Eventually it will make sense to upgrade some things or add new things to your weightloss tool box.

But for now, I haven’t spent that much at all over the last year. And I’ve been managing to lose weight still.

Don’t believe me? Here’s some transparency for you.

My priorities – drinking more water, properly measuring my food, keeping track of my stats, and logging my food.

Water bottle – $14.99
Food Scale – $9.99
Measuring Cups – $1.00
Bathroom Scale – 18.99
Measuring Tape – $0.89
Notebook for journaling – $0.99

Grand total $46.85

That’s all I’ve spent in the last year of losing weight. In the last year. That averages to about 4 bucks a month. I paid for that in my first month simply by not going out to eat a few times.

I didn’t need a $40 food scale. I just need a scale that weighs food. I’m not looking to be super precise at this moment. Same with measuring cups. I’m looking to estimate and get a better visual of my food. Not obsess about the 3 calorie difference in 10 grams of food.

I didn’t need a scale that tells you your weight, tracks your weight, tells you your body fat percentage, your height, favorite book, and what color underwear you’re wearing. I just need a scale that shows my weight. And I don’t need some $10 measuring tape. It’s a piece of plastic with numbers on it

So on and so forth.

Now, I’m not talking about food here. That’s an entirely different conversation. These are just those initial impulse buys that people (myself included) fall into when there is that little burst of motivation to lose weight.

When I started losing weight I actually made a list of things. You all should know by now that I love me some lists. A lot. To figure out just how much I was going to spend to start off on this crazy ride I call a journey. And I went step by step to figure it out, overthinking at it’s finest. And managed to start losing weight off of 46 bucks.

I’m ok with that.

Now, am I saying that I’ll never buy another thing? Of course not. Eventually I might get that gym membership, or a food scale that is more precise. I might actually go and buy myself some actual workout clothes that aren’t faded baggy t-shirts and ratty shorts. But for now, it was easier for me to start losing weight when I wasn’t concerned about how much it was going to cost me to get the ball rolling.

Down the road, it’d make sense to buy a new fitness watch. But for now, I can live without.

My BIG weight loss secret! Weigh-in Wednesday

Here we go!

Last weigh in: 208.3
This weigh in: 207.6
Lost: .7 pounds
Total lost from highest: 62.4 pounds

Every time I lose weight I get at least a couple “how did you do that?” comment from people.

Made me think about that this time around. I’ve been posting for a month. I’ve had four weigh ins and I’ve lost 4.7 pounds!


A full month of recorded losses with no gains.


Ok, super dramatic, but still. It’s not a huge secret?

So these are the things I’ve been doing

  • Eating around 1800 calories per day (+/- 100) and actually logging them
  • Drinking plenty of water
  • Trying to have a good balance of “good vs bad” calories (ex: 300 calories of avocado is better than 300 calories of candy bar) about a 80/20 balance (Yes, I’m still eating candy bars AND losing weight)
  • And getting moving to burn some calories in any way I can

There you have it. That’s it. That’s all I’m doing differently. And I’ve lost 4.7 pounds in this last couple weeks.

It sounds like a cop out…and too good to be true. It sounds like one of those weird ad things that starts off with “DO THIS AN LOSE 10 POUNDS IN A WEEK.”

I don’t have a fast acting plan. And I’m not changing a bazillion things, I’m just being more mindful.

And believe me, it’s not like it’s any easier. It’s not like I woke up and was like BOOM lets do this.

I still have to consider if it’s really worth eating that full King Size DARK CHOCOLATE Twix, or if I’m totally fine with a normal size one. Or if I’m really actually hungry enough for another two tacos. Or if I’m hungry at all, or am I bored? Do I really need that extra cup 20oz mug of coffee, or should I start getting my water in?

I still drive home from work exhausted, but turn on the radio and dance it out in the car just to get some movement in. Or set my timer for 10 minutes of my uber beginners Yoga because 10 minutes is all my poor hips can handle. Or “I fucking hate squats” and pump out my measly 10 before I feel like my legs are going to give out.

I’m still making changes.

I’m going from eating 2500+ calories a day down to 1800. I’m forcing myself to move, when my body is perfectly ok sitting around for HOURS on end watching Netflix. I’m reminding myself to drink water constantly.

It’s still hard.
It’s just not as hard as it was.

I’m not following some “push yourself to the point of pain” exercise thing, I’m not eating 1400 calories and ONLY 1400 calories, I’m still eating crap and good stuff. So on and so forth. It’s just a balancing act.

And a balancing act that seems to be working right now!!!

So cheers to another 0.7 pounds lost!

I lost 25 pounds, people!

I lost 25 pounds, people!

25 pounds!

Even though I’m thrilled about 25 pounds in over a year… I’m sure those of you who are wandering around the internet looking at ways to lose weight, aren’t all that impressed.

I started actually losing weight back in June 2016. Before then, I’d had a baby, post-partum, and a new demanding job. I was working 60+ hours a week. I was just getting back into the hang of not being home and eating 100% of the time. I was more focused on learning, and training, and getting back in the swing of things. Around June, after me and a coworker measured ourselves it was like a switch had been flipped.

This itty, bitty, darling of a gal’s measurements. Kind of kicked my butt into gear. But…I feel like that’s a whole separate blog post. So, I’ll get into that ordeal later.

So Losing 25 pounds in a year is a pretty big deal. I’ve been blogging on and off (admittedly, more off than on) for about 4 years. Actual blogging is probably only half that. Real attempted weight loss while blogging… two years. So I went through old blog posts through the years to get a good idea of some things.

I’d like to take a moment cringe at just how many times I said “haha.”

The first thing I did was go deep into the dark archives of my blog and found my “best” year of weight loss. Where I felt really good about my weight loss, my fitness level, eating right and counting calories. All of that fun stuff. We’re looking at March 2012-2013

I brought up posts in March 2012 and I was sitting right around 193 pounds…ish. That was the most solid number I could find, due to my apparently dislike of actual weigh-in days. March 2013, however I was close to the lowest number I’d ever remembered seeing on the scale: 184.8 pounds.

Big picture. 184 pounds is HUGE. I’d lost 80 solid pounds at that point.
Bigger picture. That is freaking amazing. I had reason to be proud. 80 pounds gone from my highest weight of 264.

And that’s what I focused on. The big picture.

Look at the smaller picture.

Over the course of a year I lost 9 pounds.

I went from 193 down to 184.

There was so much yo-yoing. At one point I sat at 185 for close to a month. Another point where I’d gained 8 pounds and lost it again. It was ridiculous.

Those days, I was watching my calories, definitely splurging on my calories here and there, my water intake was amazing, I’d started (and quit, and started) c25k, using resistance bands, using an elliptical, jogging, walking, so on and so forth.

All of that… and I lost 9 pounds.

In this past year, I’ve lost 25. And it was pretty steady. I’m not even going to pretend that I lost a perfect .5 pounds every week. I’d have weeks where I’d lose nothing, and weeks that I’d lose a full pound or more.

But I didn’t gain and lose and gain and lose

Didn’t catch that?

I. Didn’t. Yoyo.

Were there times where I’d step on the scale after a month and see I was up a pound or two? Sure. I’d hardly call that yoyoing though. I’d say that’s pretty normal for most people.

It wasn’t like I was gaining and losing the same 10-15 pounds over and over again.

I tried some exercising a few times, but my newfound 40 pounds made the exercises I’d been doing before practically impossible, but I didn’t stick with it at that level. I went back to basics and was just doing some general walking. I was watching what I was eating, drinking my water. Very basic stuff.

I wasn’t sitting here being anal about how many calories I was eating or not eating and wasn’t tracking everything I was eating or burning. A more conscious and careful me. And I lost 25 pounds.

And considering the amount of stress I was under with my new promotion in this time last year, I’m amazed I didn’t gain! Remember? I’m a stress eater?

That blows my mind.

Now, does that mean that I’m going to just sit back and be content to lose the same 25 pounds next year?

Not a chance in hell, darling.

Otherwise it’ll take me until well after my 30th birthday to have lost the next 60 pounds. I’m too impatient that that.

So, I’m gearing towards losing more weight. I’ve been idly working on it this last year.

There have been some real, sustainable, lifestyle changes in this whole weight loss trip. Just without the pressure of failing.

Now it’s just time to add onto those lifestyle changes because I think I’m in a place where I can handle it.

So we’ll see what happens.
Wish me luck!

Not one hoodie fit

So, not too long ago I had gone to Dunhams with Josh to grab a hoodie, long story short… not one hoodie fit.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m used to having a hard time buying clothes in general. Apparently size 10-14 are the no-mans land of clothing. I’m a solid large to extra-large, depending on the cut and brand… which all girls are used to. But when I go to throw on an large hoodie and it wont even pull down my chest, it’s kind of heart breaking.

The Nike hoodie I grabbed was an large…which was the largest side… but it fit (or didn’t fit) the same way a small would. Seriously, I couldn’t even pull it down no matter how much I sucked in.

So I ended up crying a little bit, yelling and screaming, and complaining in general.

With my rollercoaster of emotions I ended up screaming about how it sucked. “If I am going to a sports store and buying clothes that are intended for athletics, why in the hell doesn’t Nike make clothing in my size?” My whole idea is that even though I am planning on working out and getting gross/sweaty I still want to be able to feel confident in what I am wearing. I ended up getting pissy and grabbing a men’s hoodie, which of course I didn’t want.

So Josh, being Josh, said he’d call up Nike and complain on my behalf. Of course, I only half believed him… but he actually did. He mentioned all the same things I had, plus some others points. The guy he talked to said basically the whole customer service schpeel that everyone hears…”I’ll talk to my higher ups and fix this issue for you.”

Well shortly afterwards we had gone back to Dunhams just to see. While walking through the store there were TONS of larger sizes.

XL Sports bras that actually fit my chi-chi, when the largest size they had originally had was large.

sports bras

Hoodies that were EXTRA LARGE!!!!

hoodie sizes

Annnnd when I tried it on… it fit. Holy hell it fit!

ResizedImage_1395348995351 (1)

So of course I was thrilled!!! I’m not going to pretend that it was a little tight, but I’ll take it.

Naturally I am going to totally give credit to Josh for the phone call. Sure, it could be all kinds of things. It could have been that they were switching out winter clothing and moving in the spring clothing which just naturally are larger…who knows. But I’m just going to go ahead and go for the Josh fixing it theory.

Because I want to, you know?