Recap?

Ahoy there maties! This past (almost) month has been an interesting one. Not much time (or motivation) to do much as far as blogging goes. I know, I know… “well then what kind of blogger are you?!?!?!!?” I get it. But here’s a quick little recap of what’s been going on the last 23 days.

So let’s see.

First thing that comes to mind… my little man turned six!

landon goofy

Which of course I’m still a little bit in denial. Definitely. In denial. But I made a fairly epic birthday cake for him. Of course I’m a tad biased because I made it, so sue me.

cake

I have been glued to powerpoint/internet/PaintToolSai for work related stuffs. I’ve tried to do some writing, and this weekend I get to try on bridesmaids dresses for my oldest friend’s (as in we officially met 17 years ago, not that she’s ancient) wedding! Speaking of weddings, I personally know four other people who are all tying the knot. Am I jealous? Mayyyybe a tad.

Let’s see. I had extensions twice…and removed them. EXTENSIONS SUCK! I applaud those of you who have them and don’t mind them.

Ok…there is the more interesting stuff that doesn’t include feeling a tad empty because three of my favorite shows have ended. Poo.

But on the actual weight loss frontier… I went to the gym.

facebook post gym


Yeah, that’s right. I’ve only been paying for the darned thing since October. But I went…and it totally kicked my butt. I haven’t worked out in so long… I went from going 6+ miles on the elliptical to barely being able to go one. But, to be fair…this damned thing is like an elliptical on crack. Seriously. I have no way to express exactly what it is, but next time I go I’ll be sure to snap a picture of it.

Annnd, I’ve been eating really well also. All those yummy healthy things that I hadn’t had in what felt like forever. So I’m hoping when I actually weigh myself there’ll be some progress. We’ll see, right? But I’ve got some pretty awesome recipes to share soon (coconut smoothie? avocado chicken salad? pulled pork sandwiches? yup…I’ve got them).

So, there you have it. A super condensed 23 day recap. Considering my life isn’t super magical, I’d say that’s not too bad.

So, hopefully until next time…

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Bar-b-que

Manistee hit 48 degrees this weekend! Holy crap yay!

Some of you lucky people out there are probably thinking “why is she so happy about 48 degrees?” I’ll tell you.

A month ago today we were at 1 degree. Yeah. Single digit crap. With the “smartphone revolution” there is this lovely little app that’ll tell you the “real feel” temperature. When it reads “Real Feel -27” that is synonymous with “It’s friggen cold as hell!”

Not to mention there was a week where schools were closed every day that week except one. While Landon was partially thrilled (yay, pajamas) and eventually heartbroken (I miss my friends) I was dreading every moment of it.

So for the temp to hit that magical 48 number we saw, was amazing in epic proportions. Almost like summer. Case in point… We walked around in t-shirts yesterday. Yeah, that’s right. It was awesome.

So our first questionably brilliant idea…let’s have a bar-b-que.

And Bar-B-Que we did.

It was a fairly interesting site to see the guys out working the grill in about three feet of snow, but they did it and it was was totally successful.

Unfortunately there are no pictures to share. Seeing as my camera is broken thanks to a precious 5 year old who decided to step on it due to unforeseen complications I am forced to use a camera phone, which I hate. Hate it I say! So you’ll just have to take my word for the great food. The vast ammouts of calories I crammed in my mouth was completely worth how good it was. Did I feel guilty? No, no I did not.

There were ribs, corn on the cob, baked beans, potato salad, gaucamole, coleslaw (ewwww).

I have a feeling that grilling is going to be a regular thing around my house if the weather stays nice.

It’s been rather busy and hectic these last few days, so I apologize for the scarce post. I’m actually about 9 minutes away from leaving from work. Nothing like cutting it close…right?

But in honor of the quickly melting snow and flooded backstreets, I hope that your spring plans are kicking into high gear!

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My weight loss “fatal flaw”

Why is losing weight so hard?

Don’t worry this isn’t going to be a whole post of nothing but complaining.

It is a question everyone needs to ask themselves. There has to be a reason why we are having problems losing weight. I am guilty with asking that “why aren’t I losing weight?” question.

Sure, there are some obvious reasons… but unless you actually question yourself you aren’t going to find the root of the problem. If you don’t find the baseline, you aren’t ever going to fix it… and you are stuck in that whirlwind of anti-losing weight problem for years and years and years to come.

So I sat there for a minute and listed out the reasons I have problem losing weight. I was brutally honest with myself, I didn’t like the answers I was giving myself… but hey being honest to yourself is the hardest thing ever. I’m not going to bore you with my entire list… just the most important one.

I have practically zero self control.

My biggest problem is the whole self control. I have zero self control. If I see something I want, then I will rationalize why I should have it… consciously I know that isn’t a good idea… but I almost guilt myself into not exercising or eating crappy food.

I’ve realized it isn’t losing weight that is hard… I make it hard.

Let’s face it, everyone. The concept of losing weight is easy. Extremely easy. Eat less..move more… BAM weight loss. We all have personality flaws that make it hard to lose weight. I honestly think that is why so many people have an easy time shedding the pounds. They gained weight because they eat like crap, make the decision to lose weight…. and they don’t have anything holding them back. They just lose weight. Or they have some “fatal flaws” that are easy to fix… They graze? Bring healthy stuff to graze on… not brownies. BAM weight loss.

Unfortunately there is a good percentage of us out there who have those fatal flaws that are hard as hell to try and change. My self control (or lack of) is my biggest problem. I have destroyed my (here comes the cringe) “diet” simply because of self control… once that self control goes out the window it opens up the door for 90% of my other problems… the “whatever” and the “excuses.”

I know that if I don’t get my self control under wraps, I am not going to be successful down the road. I can see myself being one of those people who lose a ton of weight, and then I gain it all back. Mainly because of that self control. Sure I’m lazy, I guilt myself into poor decisions, I give up… all that kind of stuff… but it all balances back to self control.

So I need to focus on getting my self control under wrap. I don’t want to “hide” from temptation… I’ll never learn to say “no” if I am never around the things that make me say “yes.” I just need to get to a point where I am able to stick to the “no” aspect of losing weight. Sure, I can do it. I have 80 pounds that have gone “bye-bye” I can say no. I just can’t say no for long.

So, that’s what I need to fix. That is one of the main things that are making it damn near impossible for me to lose weight. I am sabotaging myself with this self control crap. I need to get that under wraps.

What is your “fatal flaw?”

Dr. Office Scales

Hello faithful followers. Haha.

I have been absent for a while. I have been super busy lately… that isn’t the reason why I haven’t been posting. That is an entirely different reason.

I can say that I nearly freaked out last Thursday. Seriously freaked out.

I had a doctor’s appointment (one of what felt like a million) and of course I got to step on a scale. I’m standing all pretty like usual. Expecting to see my bad-ass number from Wednesday. I turn around on the scale and you know what I see?

196

My instant first thought was “Oh HELL NO” Lol. Trust me, I freaked out just a tad. It wasn’t even one of those old school weighted ones… nope all electronic. My heart literally dropped to my stomach. There is no way that I was way up to 196. I managed to maintain calm throughout the doctor visit.

What had me so heart broken, is that on Wednesday I finally broke through. I stepped on the scale on Wednesday and saw the pretty little blinking 183.7

183.7

Yes… can you see my panic. I was instantly thinking that there was something around with my scale at home. How many times had I stepped on the scale and it was telling me the wrong weight? Have I not lost as much as I thought I had? Not good.

So I went home and slapped 20 pounds worth of weights on my scale. The scale read out exactly 20 pounds, so I knew it as zeroed out. I stepped on my scale… 183.7. Honestly I was confused.

I weighed myself at work that same day… 186 while wearing shoes and all my clothes. Same as at the grocery store.

I think this is kind of a situation that says even doctor’s office’s mess up. I know that it is possible, but in my head it isn’t supposed to happen. I am chalking it up as the scale there. There is no way that three separate scales read out the same weights… but that one read a good 13 pounds heavier.

So I’m back to being thrilled about hitting that 183.7, don’t get me wrong, it’s really close to 184. But I’m still happy. I lost a pound. A full pound. Feels pretty awesome. Especially since I have been having such a hard time losing weight lately. So I’m in a good mood.

Other than that, it’s been fairly uneventful in the weight loss department.