I exercised!

I exercised.

I have actually exercised every other day for the last two weeks.

And let me tell you something.

I’m sore. My legs hurt. My stomach hurts. My butt hurts. I’m just a bundle of hurt.

I’m notorious for not exercising. I have a whole slew of reasons excuses why I don’t exercise.

I’ll do it wrong. I’ll look ridiculous. It’ll hurt. I’ll hate it. I’ll get all sweaty.

And you know what? I was right. 100% right.

I’m pretty certain I did things wrong. I used the modifiers more than the actual moves. I forgot to breathe constantly. Judging by the shadows on the wall (and the horrified look on my 2 year old’s face) I did look absolutely ridiculous. I stopped so many times. What was supposed to be a 5-10 second rest between reps was actually a good 45 seconds of me trying to convince myself to do the next one.

It was quite quite literally a train wreck.

But I did it. I feel like I need a shirt that says “But did you die?”

I haven’t been consistent with exercise in YEARS. Sure, when I first started up again I would sporadically force myself to do some movement. A couple squats here, a few lunges there… 3 second planks. I know I’m not alone here.
Then I’d lose all motivation and stop doing it, stop talking about it…but I’d continue to pin the hell out of “beginners low impact cardio/core exercises.”

Doing this was the exact opposite of bingeing.

If you’re unfamiliar with that cycle… here it is.

Rationalize with yourself why it’s ok to go a little crazy. Go a little crazy (ahem…a lot crazy). Feel awesome while doing it. 20 minutes later have some very negative words for yourself.

Rinse repeat.

In this case it was

Convince yourself to do it. Procastronate while looking for the “perfect workout to do.” Force yourself to do it. Feel horrible while doing it. Curse everything and anything that is related to movement and muscles. 20 minutes later feel absolutely awesome…almost like a superhero.

Rinse repeat.

All in all, folks.

I still hate it. Regardless of how “superhero-y” it makes me feel. I still freaking hate it. I remember back in the past I used to do Pound, and C25k, and I had blast straps…and I would even do some sparring with Josh.

Those things I really enjoyed (except C25k… not a fan of running). Strange to say, but I did like them. I know at this point I just have to find things that I legitimately enjoy. Things I would look forward to doing on a regular basis, rather than finding reasons not to do it.

In all reality, I am not looking right now. I’m just trying to get my butt moving on the rare occasion I can break free with a solid half hour to get things done.

I can’t count dancing in the car or doing dishes as exercise forever. That’s kind of the cheater’s way out, right? Right? (This is the moment where I tell myself that any motion is good motion. And I get a clean house on top of it)

Overall, one day I might exercise and enjoy it. Today is not that day. Today is the day where I hit two solid weeks of regular exercising.

And I’ll take it.

WHAT’S HAPPENING the Saga – Weigh-in Wednesday

You know those moments you have when you seriously question science, your body, and pretty much the logic of the world around you?

Yeah, that moment is now.

Let me break down a touch of what has been happening the last seven weeks in regards to my health, well-being, and weight.

No exercise.
Horrible eating (did I not mention all the pumpkin EVERYTHING I have been plowing through)
Lots of sitting in the form of meetings, Netflix, and car rides.
Coffee.
Some more horrible eating.

That’s pretty the gist of it.

So, let me introduce you to the anomaly that is my weigh in.

Last weigh in: 208.2
This weigh in: 205.7
Lost: 2.5 pounds
Total lost from highest: 65.5 pounds

I have no clue.

Yeah, seven weeks is a long time. But to have lost 2.5 in that time, knowing I was being crappy about all things weight loss?

I don’t even know.

Logic has failed me ya’ll.

I’m not even going to lie. I know at one point I’d gained 6 pounds. Because, let’s face it. I still HAVE to weigh myself. I wasn’t weighing myself every week by any means. Somewhere in those 7 weeks I gained 6 pounds and then lost 8.5

So, I’m just going to say I was outrageously bloated during that time period, and then somewhere along the line I wasn’t?

I’m just gonna shake my head a bit and carry on. Because I have absolutely no clue.

You’re welcome.

Although, in less confusing news. My birthday is in two days!

You know what I asked for?

A milkshake.

I’m just going to take my chubby ass and sit in the corner with all that shame. (and yes, I’ll have my shake with me.)

Freaking Frustrating

This losing weight business is so freaking frustrating.

It’s one of the harder things to do in life.

And this is coming from someone who has carried a child…twice… for 9 months.
Someone who wrote a freaking novel
Someone who has MASTERED THE ART OF SUDUKO IN SCHEDULING FORM (ok, that last one is a stretch)

But for real.

The idea of losing weight for me has always been that it’s pretty easy. Realistically, the idea of it is.

Eat less.
Drink more water.
Move more.

Yay! Weight loss!

Eat Less
Yes, it’s easy to eat less. But for fucks sake, it’s fall. Which means PUMPKIN EVERYTHING. I’ll totally admit I’m one of those girls who turn into a pumpkin come September. Because ALL THINGS PUMPKIN. In the last month I have had more than my fair share of pumpkin lattes, pumpkin rolls, pumpkin pie, pumpkin cookies, and pumpkin cupcakes. And we’re barely one month in. Ohmylanta.

The job I have makes it all too easy to have “lunch meetings” with my supervisor and our team. But for cheese and rice, that means “Let’s get out of here, I’m hangry” is a term that’s said a lot. Or $5 on pizza for our weekly meetings? Or hitting up Wendy’s or A&W or Burger King? And of course… Chubby Nicole is all over that. Though, the last time I had actually just eaten the lunch I packed (spinach wrap with turkey, spinach, mushroom, and deliciousness) before she showed up growling “Fooooood, nowwwww.” So I just sat like a creeper while they ate.

Disclaimer part A: No, my boss didn’t actually sound like that (or did she???).
Disclaimer part B: Had she stopped by 10 minutes earlier, that poor little wrap would have been long since forgotten as I plowed through my Baconator. Just sayin

Drink More Water
I love water. Generally drinking more water isn’t a hard thing for me to do. Especially considering the fact that I have about four different water bottles I use for this. But if you remember one of my last posts I have a hugeslight issue with caffeine. As in coffee. As in I drink mostly coffee. Which, back when I wrote that post I was dealing with a pretty nasty headache due to a lack of coffee…so I decided I was going to swear off coffee. Want to know how that is coming along?

About like that. *She says as she fills her BRAND NEW Maruader’s Map 20oz glow-in-the-freaking-dark coffee mug to the brim with fresh coffee*

So, yes. I am drinking more water…but not less coffee. Which means I’m peeing all.the.time. But, hey. I’m at least drinking water right?

And last but not least…

Move More
How bout nah.
How am I supposed to exercise when I’m chasing two kids around, editing a novel, working 45-50 hours a week, and there is a VERY IMPORTANT SERIES I MUST CATCH UP ON NETFLIX?
A.k.a I’ve been using every excuse in the book to just not. Bad Nicole. Bad Nicole. I get it. Now, I’m still doing my bedtime yoga, and feeling pretty accomplished because my hips are not nearly as tight (after four freaking months). But other than that, my activity level is firmly set in the “sedentary” category.
Yep.

Yep.

So, anyways.

I can only imagine what my weigh-in is going to bring on Wednesday. Considering my last weight in was, ohhhh, seven weeks ago.

Can I convince myself that any weight gain is worth it? You know, because it’s PUMPKIN SPICE?????

No?

Ok then. I guess I should probably stop saying “weight loss is freaking frustrating” when in reality it’s “weight loss is freaking frustrating because I wanna eat everything, drink coffee, and do lots of sitting.”

Accurate.

Hello There!

Hi all!

For the last 3+ weeks I have been waging a battle against my blog. Now, I’m not a techie kind of person. I am slowly learning how things work on a very superficial level. I know some very basic html, my theme was created with a click and drag program, so on an so forth.

So, of course, when I could get into my blog, it was panic moment.

As in, staring at a computer screen freaking the heck out.

I could log in, but that was about it.
I could view my blog… and seeing the 80+ extra page views I had on my pages was purely because I kept going to it making sure all of my stuff was still there.
I couldn’t even get to the dashboard.

Nothing.
Nada.
Zilch.

I was in panic mode 100%

But thankfully with some help of a fantastic forum of people… I was able to get back into it. With a few new plugins, my stuff is safe.

Worst case scenarios started coming through. Like some super secret hackers like Helix (I’ve been watching way too much Arrow, ya’ll) had broken in and started messing with things.

Of course, that wasn’t the case. But my overactive imagination definitely went there.

So we’ll be back on our regularly schedule programming here soon!

Caffeine hates me

There are three very specific things that I drink regularly.

Water
Coffee
Tea

I’m not a soda drinker. I might have a 20 oz soda once every couple of months, and even then it goes flat before I have a chance to drink it all. I’ll drink juice or milk about the same amount. I don’t like sweet drinks, something about that cloying syrupy taste drives my nuts.

So it’s no surprise that when I do drink something it’s one of the three things.

You all know I’ve been trying to get more water into my system, which unfortunately means my number one drink of choice is coffee.

I can easily go through a pot of coffee myself. Josh and I can bust out two pots of coffee with little issue. I could blame my HP 9 3/4 mug because it’s so big it holds about 20 ounces. Seriously, I’m not kidding. It holds the same amount of coffee as my HP travel mug. But in reality, I just freaking love coffee.

If I don’t get the amount of caffeine my body is used to I get those lovely little caffeine withdrawal symptoms.

Headache, irritability, lethargy… oh my.

But the headaches, man. They get so bad that my eyeballs start to hurt. And then, of course, I sit here thinking “I NEED COFFEE” which ups the ante and so on and so forth.

Apparently, the recommended amount of caffeine per day is only about 400mg???

And also apparently, each ounce of the brand of coffee I drink has about 12mg of coffee per ounce. I’ll let you guess how much I’m getting, though I can say it’s at least twice the recommended amount.

So, I’ve decided to detox.

Although, that word sounds like I’m being a drama queen. Detoxing? Really? But hey, if the shoe fits.

I’ll be setting up a doctor’s appointment here soon, not just for the coffee issue but for just a general physical. And figured I might as well bring up the vast amounts of coffee I’m drinking and see if there are any tricks I can do.

But while I’m here…
Anyone have any ideas on how to cut back on the caffeine without feeling completely like crud?