Getting started is the hardest part

It’s been a full week since I’ve been writing. Tomorrow marks my first official weigh in being “back on the wagon.” I’d like to think it’s understandable that I’m nervous. What to expect, because I know that getting started is the hardest part of any challenge!

I’m certainly not expecting some incredibly decrease in weight. I know my body, and I know how it works. It usually takes a few weeks for me to actually see some weight loss. And even when I finally do see the numbers go down, they’re HUGE ridiculous numbers. Like 5 pounds in a week.

I’ve been doing this stop again/start again thing for quite some time, and I already know that those big number drops are more than likely nothing more than water weight. I had actually considered not weighing in for the first few weeks, just because I know this.

I don’t want to get all excited for some significant loss of however many pounds. I’m looking to lose fat, not just numbers. But, of course, I’m going to. I already know I’m going to hop on that scale and see how I’m doing. Curiosity? Sure.

But, considering being sick, I’ve been trying to bust by butt. I’ve been drinking more water, attempting to exercise as much as I can handle, and I’ve been logging my calorie intake as well.

So I’m optimisitic that this is a good start. Jumping in with both feet is the way to go.

But wow, I’ve went so long with not caring what I’m eating, that watching what I’m eating is almost as hard as attempting to be active. Eating whatever I want, whenever I want, is a really hard habit to break. Even harder than not biting my nails! I want to go back to when I stopped and demand I keep going.

Hindsight is 20/20. Right?

But at least this time I’ll remember what it felt like to lose a considerable amount of weight. I suppose it’ll be like a reminder that I did it once, and I can do it again. Plus, when I get back to those numbers it’ll be motivation not to stop. I know how it feels to gain back a good portion of what I worked so hard to lose, and I don’t ever want to be in this position again.

I can fully understand why so many people gain back the weight they’ve lost! Sure, a good 40 pounds of that was while I was pregnant. Insatiable cravings for anything covered in BBQ sauce and caramel corn will do a small part of that. The larger part was when my “only in moderation” switch was set firmly in the “off” position. That part was all me. Can’t blame pregnancy for that little tidbit.

Stupid little switch.

I always used to talk about “this is a lifestyle change” which is it. I still agree 100% with that statement. But when I was writing that I had thought I’d gotten to that point where my lifestyle changes were something I was going to be able to continue for the rest of my life.

When I “stopped” the first time around, I can easily attribute it to boredom. I got bored making the same things over and over again. I got bored working out the same way. I got too complacent.

Yeah, I don’t do well with change. But I also don’t do too well with complacency. I’m a complicated person (read: My life makes absolutely no sense). And combating that, is something I’ve got to figure out.

I don’t want to lose weight just to look back and get all angry at myself because “I lost 100 pounds and then screwed up.” I’ve only gained back 40, I couldn’t imagine gaining back 100 pounds that I worked my tailfeathers off for.

So, I need to be determined. And resiliant. And constantly thinking of new ways to stay interested in being healthy. And not just throwing my hands up in the air when things get too boring.

Variety is the spice of life. Right?

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Bad blogger! Bad!

Well, hello there! Boy, have I been a bad blogger!

Let me tell you something, this past year has been the hardest year I’ve ever had to live through… Just call me “frantic” because I’ve been through the ringer for sure.


stressful six months
Longest six months ever!

My last post was from April. Of 2014. Here we are, over halfway through 2015, and I finally decide to pop my head in and say hello. (See? Bad Blogger!) Don’t get me wrong, there have been numerous times that I’ve logged in, had my fingers hoovering over the keyboard ready to pour my heart out write, and chickened out. The longer I was away, the harder it got.

But, to be frank, I’ve missed writing. I’ve missed posting about my mundane days and horrifying the random passerby with my food/exercise/lovehandle/cellulite obsessed posts. Recently, I found that urge to come back to my dear ol’ blog and give it a go. A real go, not one that ends with about 12 half finished posts in my drafts folder. Guilty.

The problem is that there was so much stuff going on that I was barely able to make sure my poor, overworked, brain didn’t melt.

Seriously, that should be a real medical condition.

I’ll give you the super rough, super choppy, version of my past year.

Literally a week after I posted my last post, to the day, the place I was living at just went to poo (the pun becomes evident really quick). The septic went a little crazy. We quickly got it pumped, two days later it started backing up into the house.

Didn’t catch that? INTO. THE. HOUSE. I’ll let you create your own image for that one, I certainly don’t wish to relive it.


Jack Sparrow is my spirit animal

Now, normally that wouldn’t be a problem. Pack up, move to a hotel for a couple of nights until the septic gets fixed. Done. Not too bad. BONUS Landon would have thought that was awesome…espeically if there was a pool. Swimming in Northern Michigan in the end of April is either incredibly brave… or a death wish. And I can’t deny that sitting in a tub where the water would actually covered more than my ankles would have been heavenly. Yay! mini-vacation! Yay!

Pause the celebration really quick. The septic itself needed to be fixed, not just pumped. With a pretty hefty price tag of $4,000. Ouch.

Oh, wait! We also found out that according to city guidelines the actual septic was too close to the house and needed to be moved towards to end of the property line. That tacked on another $3200. Double ouch.

Even if shovelling out over seven grand was an option, we were also looking at needing to stay into a hotel for ten days while getting the “repairs.” That’s another good thousand bucks in the cheapest hotel. Now considering food, gas, and all that fun stuff. Spending close to 9,000 bucks for a rental just wasn’t in the cards for us.

Triple ouch.

That’s a good chunk of change right there. Honestly, that potential nine grand is a really darn good starting point on our piggy bank savings for a down payment. You know, buying a house one day.

After talking it through with Josh, I got on the phone to my mom. After some plotting, planning, and hour and a half commutes, we came up with the decision to move.

Now, that decision was so hard to make. Very difficult. But, you see, that’s what happens when you don’t have a back up plan. For someone who thrives on planning and schedules, it was kind of a fml moment for me. Of course, who would plan for needing to vacate their home because of a overfilling toilet? Not this girl, that’s for sure.

Yeah ok.

So to make an already long story short. I resigned from a job I loved, which sucked. I had just gotten a new promotion, an amazing opportunity, and then I put in my two weeks before the ink on my “I accept this position” paper dried. We moved to Traverse City, then down state leaving all our friends and “up north” family behind. Two moves in less than 3 months. Ay caramba! From there is was downhill. It was amazing being so close with the family members I was lucky to see once a year. And of course there were several fun things that happen. An orchard, Cannibal Lane, and the library in Traverse. That’s paradise for someone used to a wee little library. We even tried out restaurants that we wouldn’t have normally eaten at.

yummy wrap
“Healthy Choice” wrap from The Kitchen in Traverse!
Yummy wraps for sure!

That was awesome.

What wasn’t awesome was finding new jobs, dealing with the stress of being away from the people I saw everyday for years, and the loss of my grandpa from stage 4 cancer… within two months of moving down there.

Grandpa
I miss you, Grandpa!

Those were the big things, that doesn’t include all the little tiny things that added to the stress.

Let’s just say, I started to crack. There were many, many, many sobbing phones calls to my mom and sister. It was ridiculous.

Psychic Almonds
Oh, psychic almonds. You knew. You knew.

I’ve mentioned before that I don’t handle change well, right?

Too much change in a short period of time. And I’ll be honest, weight loss…well my actual health in general kind of took a backseat.

So after finagling some thing we made the journey back up north about 15 minutes outside of the town we’d originally lived in. As soon as we hit Manistee, Josh turned to me and said “Welcome home!” Which is ironic because both of us swore how much we wouldn’t miss Manistee. It was too small, too snowy, too boring….too too too. You never realize what you miss until you aren’t there. I didn’t realize how much I loved Manistee…until I wasn’t there.

So yeah.

That’s the cliffnotes version of what went on this last year. Phew.

Oh wait, there is one more thing. One more life altering, amazing, scary, and incredible thing.

But I’ll wait to tell you all of that.

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