Bad Habits to Break

These last three crazy months have been a lot of focusing on trying to break some bad habits.

I have a lot of bad habits that I have gotten over the last 10+ years, and a lot of them were reinforced repeatedly. And I’m really trying to get them under control.

You know, the typical drinking more water, watching what I’m eating, getting moving, you know all those things are habits that anyone who wants to lose weight wants to have as good habits.

But my worse habit is the way I talk about the things I’m doing. Not specifics, but more phrases. “I was really good!” or “I was bad, I ate more than what I’m supposed to.” Things like that. I don’t know why I’ve always done that. Talked about my weight/eating in terms of bad or good. Or saying things like “supposed to.” That’s my biggest struggle. I’m sure if you go through old posts, you’ll see stuff like that all over the place. Phrases like that aren’t helpful or good for me. It puts me in a block of what is “acceptable” or not.

Which, ironically, I don’t generally do that stuff consciously. It’s stuff that slips out, that I don’t think about. It’s become a horrible habit of mine to just say things like that. I’m big on the whole “low pressure weight loss” thing. If I want an ice cream sundae, sure, why not? It’s not bad or not naughty or wrong. That one decision isn’t something that is going to ruin all of my progress.

Same with the opposite. The days I have that are great days, water/eating/moving… I always tend to say that I did “good.” I don’t know why I feel the need to grade or gauge myself like that. Did I do something good for me? Absolutely! But putting it in a category like that, automatically makes me feel like anything short of that falls into a “bad” category.

That probably sounds like a real trivial thing to worry about. But sometimes, verbiage is the biggest thing that can make it harder for a person to accomplish the things they want to. It’s so much pressure to sit here and worry that if I eat the damn ice cream sundae if I’m being “bad” or making a “bad” choice.

I think “making better choice” is a good way to phrase things. I’m not always going to make GREAT choices. I’ll have days where I make choice that probably could have been better. But really, I’m not looking to make 100% great choices. I’m looking to make choices that will make me move towards my goal without taking away everything in my life that I enjoy (yes, including sundaes.)

The biggest thing is that I don’t want to feel guilty for having a “bad” food. I don’t want to feel guilty because I had a “good” day where I drank my water, hit 20k steps, and ate perfectly…. and then compare all other days to that “good” day.

It’s a lot of pressure that I don’t want or need. And I’ve fallen into that a lot. It’s nothing that I’m going to just “poof” stop saying or thinking… but it’s definitely things that shouldn’t cross my mind as much.

So, I’m actively trying to change the way I talk about my weight or losing weight. But I’m allowed to have days that could be better. I’m allowed to have awesome days without feeling like I’m setting this impossible line to reach.

It took a lot to realize that. And part of that was during that 3 months. That was the biggest thing I had to “get over” was when I was losing weight, it was a lot of “woah, I must be really doing good!” For example: when I’d hit 20,000 steps. I’d felt awesome, I’d said it was a really good day! And it was! But the very next day I barely hit 8,000 and I was so beat up about it. Like, crap, 8,000 steps for someone like me is still really good but I couldn’t connect that… because it wasn’t “20,000 steps good.”

I know, I know, we’re our own competition. But it’s only good for you if it’s something you can maintain, and doesn’t make you feel like crap later. Strive for doing better, not doing perfect!!!

#progressnotperfection

On the mend – Progress – Weigh in Wednesday

Yesterday’s post was a doozie, wasn’t it? Phew. But all-in-all I feel like I’m on the mend. Physically and emotionally. Which is great! Hello, progress… that is great!

One of the biggest things, weight related, that I had an issue with was dropping to 192 pounds. Normally, I would have been thrilled for that. But I knew it was far too quick, and wasn’t a conscious effort to treat my body the way it should be treated. It was all from walking 20,000+ steps per day and eating not nearly enough to compensate that.

Do me a favor. Never let yourself become too busy to take care of yourself. Ok?

Promise?

Anyways, like I said. I spent a lot of time fixing somethings. Leaving two out of three jobs. Taking a hard look at my life and my weight in general. Figuring out ways to make my life what I want out of it, not what I felt like it had to be because of money or jobs or whatever.

Took a while.

So, like I’d said. I had gotten down to 192 pounds.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that once I had time to eat like I was supposed to, and without the extra moving from the walking at my other two jobs, I gained weight.

I went from 192 pounds allllll the way back up to 205. I’d gained back close to 15 pounds. To be honest, there was a little bit of “well shit, that sucks” in there, but it reinforced the idea that I hadn’t lost the weight the right way. I figure that’s a good indication of not doing it right. My body rebelled and was like “FINALLY A FULL MEAL! PACK IT ON BEFORE THIS CRAZY PSYCHO TAKES IT AWAY AGAIN!” So it made me feel better to see the scale go up.

I’d like to apologize to my sweet little body for putting up with my crap.

So, that 205 was about 8 weeks ago.

So, here we are today!

Last weigh-in: 205
This weigh-in: 198.8
Lost: 6.2
Total lost from highest: 65.2

Yasssss!

I’m obviously not sitting at 192, but it’ll come.

So many little things changed. But the best things that changed was that I was eating more, and I had just started “trying” to exercise. To be perfectly honest, it was really nothing more than making sure I got my step goal in and then I dabbled in a couple of little things here and there.

But it boiled out to under a pound a week. Which is slow turtle-like progress. But at least it’s good progress.

So, I’ve been able to maintain that for a good 8 weeks. Of course some days were harder than others, some days I relished in lazy days with pajamas and Netflix. But hey, variety is the spice of life, right? So the goal is continuing.

Guess who is on her way to Pinterest to pin ridiculous amounts of motivational posts.

10 points to Slytherin if you said me!

How I measure 9 months later

So it’s been a while since I last measured myself. We’re looking at 9 months. I’d wanted to measure myself on the first of every month, but realistically I haven’t really lost all that much in the last 9 months to justify it.

My last measurements I’d taken were 10 pounds ago, so I figured why the heck not? Let’s see what those 12 pounds gone have gotten me! Plus it’s the last day of August anyways, it all works!

I’ve lost a total of 8 inches! In the grand scheme of things, that much in 9 months isn’t a whole lot, but those inches mean a lot!

And bonus!! I’m too far behind my measurements when I was sitting at 194.

The think I love about measurements is that they give you some kind of physical proof that your losing. Sure, I can step on the scale and see the numbers move, which is fantastic… but sometimes that can be a bit arbitrary. You know what I mean? Look at how much my weight fluctuated just in a week! Back in the day, I used to measure myself pretty regularly. Because sometimes the scale didn’t move for MONTHS and yet I found myself dropping a pants size in that time frame. Because 185 could have meant a size 14 or even a size 10. The number on the scale is definitely a good tool, but those measurements, man. They tell you a lot.

The main reason why I wanted to weigh myself is because I found myself squeezing into a size 12.

What?

Yeah, you read that right. A size twelve. I’ve been sitting between a 14 and 16 for so long, it was a really nice shock. Now, granted they were a bit too tight for my liking, especially since they were skinny jeans. A bit too much love from my love handles, you know? But I could button them, kick in them, and even do some pretty awesome squats without worrying I was going to rip the seams. Because, let’s not forget… that has happened to me before… I’ve ripped a seam in both a coat and a dress. Ohmylanta.

But it’s progress, right?

We’re moving in the right direction. And I’m super excited.

There are so many things I can’t wait for. Getting under 200 again. And seeing my measurements under what they were at 194. It’ll be interesting, and I honestly can’t wait.

But like I said last time, I just have to keep the progress moving. Haven’t had the best luck lately with staying consistent…so we’ll see how it goes next week.

Right?

Progress – weigh in Wednesday

So after my blog setback last week I’m super thrilled that I didn’t lose everything. Especially all of my weigh ins. There’s something super nostalgic about reading through my old weigh ins and blog posts, and I’m so happy I didn’t lose them.

So, aside from that drama. We’re onwards and upwards, right? This week is all about progress, because that’s what I’ve been making!

So my last weigh in was a good one! Down 4 pounds in 5 weeks. I’m not complaining. And there is exactly zero things for me to complain about this week!

Last weigh-in: 203
This weigh-in: 201.6
Lost: 1.4
Total lost from highest: 69.1

A pound and a half people! Look at that!

Ok, ok, so a teeny tiny part of me was a bit disappointed that I wasn’t sitting under 200 for the first time in 4 years, but I’m keeping my chin up. Because a pound and a half in a week is totally ok, and it’s a good pace!

And who am I kidding? IT’S A LOSS! And it’s progress. The first real progress I feel like I’ve seen in a long time.

I’m over the moon.

Do you have any idea how long it’s been since I weighed 201 pounds? I’ve been bouncing around between 205 and 215 for well over a year. So it’s so freaking nice to see the scale actually move down again.

Now all I have to do is keep that downward trend. I can’t get cocky and be all “eh, I lost weight…I can go crazy with the muffins this week.” You know how it goes.

But hey, look at me go! Another pound and a half off the books!

Yes!

Total weeks of consecutive weight loss: TWO

Every day is Weigh In Wednesday

I’ve been naughty…

I generally weigh myself every Wednesday. Regardless if I post or not, I’m still weighing myself. And, admittedly, there have been points in time where I didn’t weigh myself… mainly because I just didn’t think about it. You know how it goes.

But, I went a little bit nuts. I weighed myself THREE times before last week’s weigh in. And it reminded me exactly why I don’t do that. Because the big change in numbers from day to day can drive a gal crazy.

There was a huge jump between those three days.

In order of my impromptu weigh ins…

Friday – 207.4
Sunday – 209.6
Tuesday – 204.3

Look at those differences!

That is insane. Of course there are a ton of reasons just in the last week that could be to blame. How much water vs caffeine I’ve been drinking, how much I’ve been moving, sleep patterns, wine (YOU KNOWS), so many different things. So many things, I can’t really pinpoint it.

The only thing that makes me feel better is that I know I didn’t gain 2 pounds in 2 days, and I most certainly didn’t lose over 5 pounds in 2 days. So, I didn’t actually count last weeks weigh in. I waited until this week until things were a little bit more consistent for me.

It’s just crazy to think how much can change day to day, and made me remind myself exactly why I shouldn’t weigh myself daily. Some people it might work for, not this lady here.

So, this weeks weigh in I stayed true to only weighing myself on Wednesday! Makes things so much simpler!

Last weigh-in: 207.4
This weigh-in: 203
Lost: 4.4
Total lost from highest: 67.7

BAM Look at that! Sure, my last weigh in was a 5 weeks ago, which boils down to less than a pound a week. But considering all the inconsistency in what I’m eating, I’ll definitely take it! That’s for sure.

AND do you know what that means?!?!?!? I HIT A GOAL!!!!

Lose 25% of my highest weight

^^^ Go check it out! I even went and updated the page for the first time in FOREVER!

So, alls I need to do now is lose another 5 pounds and I’ll be sitting at my pre-pregnancy weight! Say whaaat?

Finally, ya’ll. Finally!

AND I’m so close to being under 200 again. It’s been close to 4 years since I’ve been under 200. I don’t even know how to handle it right now.

Of course a lot can happen. But I’m going to sit here and be super excited! #thanksverymuch

FINGERS CROSSED FOR NEXT WEIGH IN!!!!