Do these things even work

Busy, busy week!

The last week or so have been a bit of a whirlwind. Getting this blog up and running for what feels like the millionth time, getting all kinds of school supplies (can’t say I’ve ever had to buy tennis balls before now), and starting a new school year! It’s been a hustle bustle life.

Landon started second grade a few days ago and sending a seven year old to his first day of school is so much different than sending a six year old. I’m not kidding. He loves school. Loves reading and math. No sooner did summer break end he was asking when he could go back to school. He missed his friends, teachers, and his schoolwork. So it wasn’t a surprise that he was super anxious to go back to school. I’m just going to fist pump a second in honor of him being excited to learn. Let’s hope that continues! But…six year old Landon was all kinds of bummed going back to school. He missed us. Yay! Granted last year was a bit upsetting for school to be starting, but still. This year, he is all “grown up” and I’m more bummed about him going to school than he is.

Go figure.

So, it’s just the one kiddo at home during the week. And she’s not that much company, she is now officially three months old yesterday. And she defiinitely acts like a three month old. She eats, sleeps, poops all day long. Of course, when she is awake it’s all smiles or glares (she’s a very grumpy looking baby).

So while she napped yesterday, I attempted to exercise.

Attempted.

There is nothing more sad than watching me trying to do squats, lunges, and lifting heavy things. I wanted to go outside and walk but thanks to the rain that wasn’t really an option. I’ll be fine walking in the rain, heck I’d done c25k in the rain. But walking in the cold rain with a three month old… probably not the best idea. So inside we stayed.

There was definitely a moment of hesitation there, I wondered if my legs even remembered what in the heck a lunge was. Hmmm, nope.

But I realized, I am so out of shape. Regardless of the number on the scale, going so long without exercisings has certainly done a number on my muscles. And my poor lungs. And joints. And self esteem.

Definitely for that last one.

I know it’ll take some time to get to a point where exercsing (for a grand total of 20 minutes) isn’t going to feel horrible, but I am so impatient.

It’s so strange when I think back to 50 pounds ago. Sure, I didn’t exercise all that regularly, but when I did exercise it was so much easier than it is now. I find I can’t just jump into doing things that were fairly easy manageable at a much lighter weight. I struggled with exercise, certainly. Mostly because I loathe it. I’m not even kidding. I don’t like feeling out of breath, sweaty, or sore. All of which go hand in hand with physical activity. But when I did exercise I hardly complained about how inadequate I was at it. Everyday I accomplished something new. Lifted something heavier, pushed myself a little bit harder and further. It was like accomplishing a goal.

Now, I realize I have to start with beginners activity goals. I can’t expect that after (over) a year of no exercise and gaining almost 40 pounds that I’ll just be able to bounce right back into doing things.

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So rather than being discouraged (which, clearly I was, otherwise this post wouldn’t exist) I need to set realistic expectations and goals for getting back to where I was at and past that point.

Make a decision, and goal, to workout more regularly. Get through this awkward “ugh, I hate this. I hurt. Look at my legs shaking! I need airrrr” point and bust my tushie.

I think that is what is so scary for many people just starting to workout. They know it’ll be hard, and probably not feel the best. And it’s like walking head first in to a situation that you know is just going to suck. Then come the excuses, and the procrastination, and then giving up before you’ve even started. I know this, because I’ve done this. Time and time and time and time, and time again.

But hey. That’s kind of how it works. Starting anything is hard work. Right? Well, maybe not to you out there who are naturals at EVERYTHING! There were some things that I really liked. Walking, POUND, sad attempts at yoga… and that’s probably my best start at not feeling horrible about working out.

Yeah, I’m such a downer.

I know that the first steps to getting back into shape is actually doing it. So yeah, here I am…super unenthused… but determined to start. Ohhh my legs.

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